What Can I Say?
Over the last several weeks, I can’t say that I’ve had much enthusiasm lately. I haven’t felt like writing and I sure as hell haven’t felt like doing much of anything else. I think I’m in one of those ruts. I’m so behind in my studies and it takes everything I have to bring myself to it. Some days, I just can’t. And I don’t. And I’ll regret it soon. That’s the one thing I’m sure to have when I get into these little “ruts”… regret! There’s always that voice that shouts in my head how I could’ve done this or I could’ve done that. Or even better, the one that screams how I should’ve done something. Or, why didn’t I do this yesterday?
I only end up hating myself for it.
I had to approach JM again about his lack of intimacy. Yes, Again. I can only tolerate it for so long - so one day last week, I told him I just wasn’t happy. I got that look. *blink blink* He says nothing. I wasn’t angry or anything but the silent stare agitates me. I just had to let it out and I wanted him to know.
After I stepped down off of my soapbox there was the silence, of course. I asked him if he had anything to say and I reminded him of how familiar I was with his silence. All he could say was, “sorry” and gave me a hug. After that, I proceeded to the garden and carried on…
As of today, still, none of what I said mattered.
The sad part about it is, is that I have had NO children in my house ALL summer long! (Now, before everyone comments on how great that must be, let me tell you - it’s NOT!) But getting back to my point: I can honestly say that we’ve had sex maybe 3 times in the last 3-4 months. And really, given our history, I wasn’t expecting him to start chasing me around the house just because it was going to be the two of us. Just like I wasn’t going to expect maybe showering together, flirtatious midnight encounters, sex on the dining room floor, or even sex once a week.
Dear Abby; I live a sexless life.
Tomorrow I’m hitting the road for Georgia! I’m going to watch my son graduate from his basic training! I’m so excited, I can hardly wait. I planned on going myself but at the very last minute, JM decided he wanted to be there too… he initially thought he wouldn’t be able to get the time off of work. Well, he did and although I’m glad he’s going and all, he sure messed up my mojo. I wanted to head out tomorrow early in the morning - now I have to wait until he gets out of the office around 3:00! I’m a little pissed about that because it’s almost a 12 hour drive - Ill be lucky if I get to where I need to be much before 5am Thursday morning - the ceremony is at 9am - I HAVE to be at the base at least an hour before the graduation because of the time I’ll spend in line just to get through gates! Argh! Which means - no sleep, I get to my hotel, throw my crap in the door, change and head right back out. Yuck.
I’m really happy that I’llget to see my son and I’ll be able to bring him home after the ceremony. We’re staying an extra day so he can show us around. I made sure I booked a hotel with a pool so he could go swimming! I got a sweet deal so I’m pretty satisfied with that. It’ll be fun.
So I’m all packed and ready to roll… I just have to wait for JM to get home. I’m taking the first leg of the road, hell maybe even all of it - I’ve been to Georgia, many, many times and I want to get there without incident. JMis a good drive and very well rounded when it comes to traveling. Sometimes his driving is a bit too fast for my liking and I’m always thinking of the worst possible things that can happen.
T-minus and counting….. 
Funk Junk
This is probably old news by now - I started it last week… which seems like a very long time ago.
Is it just me or is the (politically motivated) pollution updates surrounding the Olympics getting on anybody elses nerves? What a waste of a human body standing in the foreground exploiting the loom of all doom hanging over that city. Are you kidding me? Enough.
Morning Host via satellite: “Can you tell us again what the pollution will mean for the athletes? Can you feel it? Can you taste it?”
Put a sock in it, lady.
And I am sure, that their issues of pollution are of fact - as I am also sure, that our superiority leads the world by example, right?
Brett Favre: Is that man for real? Various players going out and coming back from “retirement” reminds me of the soap operas that keep bringing back the actor/actress that die a thousand times in one season.
They say that Phelps guy wins a lot because he’s built like a fish. I swear, I heard that! I wonder what injection they’ll blame that on.
The CDC reportsthat the wait in the emergency room is up over the last decade. The statistics report that the wait has gone from a half hour to over an hour….. CDC, where have you been? What ER can I lead myself to that has ever had a wait time of under an hour? I want the brochure on that hospital. (and a chocolate minty on my pillow) Al Roker ate a Scorpion - I hope he doesn’t have a long wait! Ugh.
John Edwards? Why… just tell me why, dammit. I thought he’d been hangin’ with Bill too much.
What about that Julia Childs? Miles Copeland? Thomas Braden? Can you believe it? Astonishing!
And on top of all that… we have the body of a BigfootCarcass! I always found myself wondering, if people have witnessed so many sightings for sooooo many years in soooo many places around the world - why don’t we ever find one that has died of old age? Where are the offspring to these beasts? Huh? Whatever lives, must surely die, right? AAAAAAAAAND FINALLY, NOW they’ve found (shot) one but the two men won’t disclose details until Friday… hmmmm…. I smell something and I don’t believe it’s coming from that carcass they have in a freezer!
For your complete entertainment: http://www.bfro.net/
Learning the Limits
This summer my real age decided to slap me in the face. It pretty much sucks and c’mon folks, as if I didn’t know.
A good 6-7 years ago, the kids and I went twice a week for Shao-Lin Do lessons. We loved it. Especially the kids. It was tough stuff but it was something we all did together. My son was especially good at it and had only spent a couple of months performing at the junior league level before our Sinsai moved him up to adult training. He really was impressive! Hell, he still knows most of it and he’s still good at it!
Our class would perform at small events to entice possible new recruits, put on little demos during after school events and my son would take first place at the community talent shows nearly every time. I even got into the ring a few times and competed in a little kick boxing. Yeah - I was a bad ass but this Million Dollar Baby was more like a buck 50 with no desired future for the sport.
I remember one summer we had a lot of outside training. It had to be 90 degrees with a heat index of 300! Okay - it was more like 110 in the shade… believe me. Anyway, I got into about 2 hours of extreme defense training, I suddenly starting developing a headache right in the center of my forehead. I didn’t think anything of it until I started to lose a little of my balance and my ears started ringing. I didn’t stop - I didn’t want to wussy out. Then I lost my vision. Everything looked as though I was underwater and my peripheral vision was darkening. Then down I went.
Heat exhaustion. Big time.
I noticed shortly after that day, that I had become sensitive to certain activities in the sun/heat. I blew it off and thought maybe it was because I wasn’t getting enough excercise. Up until today and a few other recent episodes, I never would have thought it or wanted to think that age has everything to do with everything. Okay - some things.
So, I guess AS I get older, there are a few things that I just cannot do with the vigor that I use to do them in. Mowing the grass is one of them. I’ve had all of the signs as I did back on that day before. I’ve blown it off and was always pretty perplexed as to why cutting the grass seemed to be such a chore anymore. When did it become all so labored? I’d stop and take mini breaks, drink a lot of water, cool down and then resume. This has been the routine every summer for the last several years and finally today - I had to come to terms with the fact that I have to take it easy, take my time and to know my limits. It nearly got the best of me again because I just won’t stop. The ringing started in my ears and that funny headache was becoming more and more noticable as I trudge on, not willing to stop nor to admit total defeat.
I had to this time.
The aftermath of this episode was a nice juicy migraine. The kind of migraine that forces you to wretch. The kind that seems to get worse if you keep your eyes open. The kind that isn’t pacified if your eyes are closed. The kind of migraine that blurs or erases any recall of events. I dealt with it for nearly 4 hours, along with a bottle of Advil. I’ll suffer the rebound headaches for a couple of days but rest assured, I’ve learned my lesson and I won’t be trying to get my yard groove on like I’m 20 ever again.
Heat exhaustion apparently shouldn’t be fooled with and getting older doesn’t mean I’ll be growing out of it, either. Dag-nabbit.
